28th Sept - 2nd Oct 1998

Monday 28th September

New Islam Light

Premise : Prince Rajeesh Ali Khan (Tommy), seeks worshippers for New Islam Light, a practical, new-age way of living your life, including the odd pint along the way.

Evaluation : Providing a clever and important twist on the issue of religion and worship, this hour had some introspective questions and challenging assumptions, aimed particularly towards hard-core religious followers, who instead of living their life as best they can, follow their holy book to the extreme of it actually controlling their lives. Not only are these different religions always at conflict with each other, but they're also at conflict with themselves, due to the religious biggotry in many followers. New Islam Light was therefore a refreshing alternative, the philosophy of which contradicted the one-track mindedness that comes with most mainstream religions. Not only was this hour stimulating from any perspective, religious or not, but reading between the lines, this show was of a highly intelligent nature, challenging significant aspects of obedience and blind faith.

Classic Quote : Tommy (Prince Rajeesh) to Muhammed, "Just like you, every religion wriggles on the hook if you try to pin it down!"

Interesting Point : Tommy's Indian accent has become a familiar occurrence on Talk Radio. So much so, that whenever anybody phones up with an Indian voice, it is uncertain whether it is Tommy winding another presenter up. During one of this weeks James Whale shows, James was convinced that one caller was Tommy putting on that accent, so he cut the guy off, not allowing him to make his point. I wasn't sure whether it was Tommy or not, but Whale was. I was told by a friend that this was happening frequently all that week!

Angry Hour

Tuesday 29th September - Tony Blair (yawn)

Wednesday 30th September

Gym Lesson

Premise : Mr Phil Goddard, a new games teacher, begins his lessons of physical training.

Evaluation : Yet another school role-play hour, this time graced with none other than Geoff Boycott's voice. The characterisation of sports teachers was spot on. As with most of these classic school hours, awful memories surfaced, this time of being forced to participate in a mixed-sex games lesson in my underpants. One thing that Mr Goddard failed to observe, was that the quiet girl in the class would always wet her knickers whilst sat on a gym mat! A nice light show.

Classic Quote : Mr Goddard, "Who muttered Phil? Yes that is my first name. And if I hear that word used once more, you'll all be back here at 4 o'clock for 2 laps of the school playing field!"

Bank Robbery

Premise : It doesn't matter who you are, but everybody has thought about committing serious crime, leading onto an open discussion on the joys of bank robbery.

Evaluation : An entertaining and intriguing exchange of some very unique and amusing tales of bank robbery. It reminded me of a story that a friend of mine told, after lending his replica uzi 9mm and balaclava to some other friends studying media in Birmingham, so that they could film a bank robbery. Unfortunately, they forgot to ask the bank for permission. So they showed up wearing the balaclava and brandishing the uzi, only to be taken away from the bank by a police escort and were rewarded a criminal record. Cracking stuff!

Classic Quote : Tommy to a caller that pretends to steal things in a shop by acting suspiciously, "So you're like the Irishman who goes into a restaurant, orders a meal, pays for it, then sneaks out without eating it!"

Interesting Point : A philosopher said that, "Even if one can escape a misdemeanour, one can never escape the fear that one might get caught."

Thursday 1st October

Sex

Premise : Is it true that nobody makes love on a Thursday night?

Evaluation : A lively exchange of sexual stories, statistics and semen stamina. Wilfred from County Down was a character and a half. Wilfred isn't the sort of name you'd associate with an active sex life, to say the least. Mr Personal ads, has had women sending naked photo's of themselves, and men calling him asking if he's make love to their wife so they could watch?!? Cracking radio for 3 in the afternoon!

Classic Quotes : Tommy, "How do people do it, who have a dog that sleeps on the bed?" - reminded me of that classic Dave Allen line, whilst he was referring to various reasons why people sometimes have half a sex session, "You stopped because the cold of the dog's nose was sniffing your anus!"

Wilfred from County Down, "My goodness, we had a bloody good shag, I can tell you!"

Interesting Points : One guy phoned up stating he preferred a round of golf to sex??? / A lady phoned up who'd already made love 4 times this Thursday / Tommy refuses to have John Kettley on the telly when he is making love, but he wouldn't object to Lorraine Kelley on the radio / Steve from London has made love up a tree, in a phone box, on a football pitch, in the car whilst he was driving it, and at midday on the beach!!!

Sanity and War

Premise : It's reasonable to assume that people over the age of 65, are not psychologically intact, bearing in mind so many people under that age aren't psychologically intact, and they didn't go through war time atrocities.

Evaluation : A strong, logical and interesting premise, wasn't really enough to sustain the average direction in which the rest of the show went as soon as it went to the switchboard. It's a shame Edna from Hampshire wasn't near the phone that day!

Classic Quote : Tommy to Jill - an elderly caller, "You're definitely sane, you speak several languages?!?"

Friday 2nd October

The Wonderful Hour

Hitler Wind-Up

Premise : A praise of some of Hitler's deeds during the 1930's.

Evaluation : Having missed the first 15 minutes of the show, I had to piece together what was going on during a discussion about it on the Angry hour, and by the sound of it I missed the beginning of an absolute corker. Tommy had supposedly have said something upsetting on the air / or off the air as the case was (I do not know what), as a gag, and listeners rang up with their condemnation, suckered by the wind-up hook line and sinker. It's music to the ears to hear indignation from the 'I think you've gone too far this time' sorts! Some very powerful points were made in favour of the central argument, including the fact he clothed and fed his own people, which is what you elect a government for. Whether the exercise in getting in touch with your inner dark thoughts was also part of the joke as well, I'm unsure, but it was pretty convincing stuff nevertheless, right up to the apology written for Tommy to read out at the end of the show!

Classic Quote : Tommy to Kay from Hove, "You should be ashamed of your closed mind woman!"