19th - 23rd Oct 1998- HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY MEAT, IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR PUDDING? -
Monday 19th October Angry Hour Off
Licences Premise : A celebration of Off Licences / Duck and pigeon feeders Evaluation : As with most celebration hours, this one was packaged with an enormity of rich language and an enormous feel-good factor. Whatever the celebration is, one always mentally takes off their underpants, and dances around that log-lit camp fire screaming 'Gareeba'! But when it comes to celebrating alcohol, I'm around that fire with a pint in one hand, and a glass of wine in the other. Any conversation that gets on the subject of Lorraine Kelly's bottom, has got to be one for the books. As an added bonus, the last 15 minutes of the hour was given over to the elderly's obsessive fixation towards watching and feeding ducks or pigeons, and trying to understand the psychology behind it. Of the most interesting explanation offered, was that because they don't have an awful lot of money, they feed them in order to eventually snatch them and eat them. A very welcome change from the issue of transport which has plagued the show for the past few months. Good, refreshing, interesting stuff! Classic Quote : Tommy to an elderly caller, "I can just see you sat there with the greyhound paper, a roll up, and a tin of warm flat beer." Interesting Point : Some Off Licences also sell ice-cream and videos / One woman has defied a court order to feed pigeons, and risks a prison sentence because she refuses to stop
Tuesday 20th October Peter
Mills Premise : Peter mills, that intrepid ladies maestro has returned from Seattle early, so at Derek's suggestion he graciously invites the ladies back to his yacht 'Christina', so that they can get to know him... better. Evaluation : Even a change of scene doesn't suppress the hormone driven tendencies of our man Mills, and why should it? His seductive skills are admirable, but one can't help but feel that these are ladies that are more than willing to be seduced. Although this is brilliant fun to listen to, and no doubt Tommy and his callers are having a scream, this could offer an enormous psychological boost in the form of romantic therapy. It was a tremendous pleasure to hear that cheesy 60's porn music again, surely an institution in itself in the world of Peter Mills and Seduction! Following seduction Peter would of course toss his 'victim' over-board... magic! A nice twist in the drama unfolded when Sylvia took Mills as her slave, stuck a sock in his mouth and armed herself with a Rhino Penis Whip!!! Classic Quote : Mills, "OH MY GOD, it's my WIFE!" Interesting Point : Peter boasts 9000 satisfied customers so far / Peter's technique to prevent premature ejaculation was to think about your boss, enabling a strong inability to 'follow through'!!!!
Cleaners
Premise : After advertising for a cleaner for the Boyd household, Tommy was surprised to receive no applicants, despite offering £3.50 an hour, and he wondered why? Evaluation : The general consensus seemed to be that Tommy was a cheap skate, and the reason they were receiving no replies was due to the appalling wage offered. A particularly light and subtley inspired hour, that wasn't really heading anywhere but didn't really need to. A real kitchen-table conversation show!
Wednesday 21st October The
Donkey Question Premise : Where have the donkeys that end up in sanctuarys come from? What do they do? They could be substituted for your current transport, being an economically sound investment. Basically, let's recycle donkeys - they have many uses! Evaluation : A brilliant and amusing introduction... just going by the first 10 minutes, I knew this was going to be a corker! When asked why people donate money to animals when people are more needy, Tommy came back with a great argument stating that if you were dumb, you wouldn't give money to people more intelligent than you, so they give to animals rather than Richard Branson. A very good point was made in regards to donkeys being very charitable when compared to something like the snake, built from cultural experiences and bad press. Very very debatey, as any good debate should be, with a sprinkling of logic, high levels of sarcasm, and a jolly good giggle. An amusing introduction led onto some great and consecutive arguments. There were some bloody strange characters calling in, leading to inevitable entertainment! Marvelous!!! Classic Quotes : Tommy to Pat from Taunton "I'm out in knew territory here pal! I'm down at the dark end of the woods, with the bears and the Indians. You're back at the farm still. Come on catch up!" (irate) "Honestly, why do people phone up, who don't know anything, who ask me a question, and when I tell them, they go (dopey voice) 'No... it's not true...'!" Interesting Points : Donkeys have an infra-red lamp in their sty's / More people die by being kicked to death by Donkeys than they do in air crashes - a questionnable well-known fact / Donkeys, genetically, bare the sign of the cross on their back - interpreted by the bible because it's the chosen form of transport / A donkey and an ass produce a mule, who is impotent! / Donkeys will remember where they've been and go there again / Donkeys are apparently good listeners..... he he! History
Premise : A celebration of history and its importance on the curriculum in that famous classroom style with Mr Boyd. Evaluation : Not only a cracking hour due to the greatness and fondness I hold towards the subject of history, but also powerful stuff in regards to the interpretation of information. The show got quite deep particularly when one caller, Tobias from Hull (yes that place again), challenged the validity and relevance of history in respect to what it tells us about our future - who was passionately and logically outwitted by some great responses from Tommy. A very good show! Classic Quote : Tommy to Tobias, "You see, you haven't studied history very much, because you would know if you had, that you cannot draw a conclusion which bares no relation to the evidence which you yourself have accepted." Interseting Point : Toward the end of this hour we were graced with the presence of Prince Rajeesh Alikhan, proving the power of New Islam by trying to get the listeners to pray for Dynamo Kiev to win over 'The Arsenal' at Wembley this evening! Thursday 22nd October Men
and Watches Premise : What is it with men and their watches? Evaluation : This was a clever and probing hour into the habits of male watch wearers. Tommy's observations were frighteningly accurate. We all know these people, we've all seen them, and some of us are them. There's that strange guy who always wears his watch on his right hand wrist, and the other one who always has his watch face on his inner wrist, and so has to twist his wrist around every time he wishes to know the time. The all time classic one is when you see someone checking their watch, you ask them what time it is, and they have to look back at their watch to tell you... This hour, if nothing, proved that Tommy is high in the academian world as a student of human nature! Thoroughly interesting!! Bullying
Premise : Bullying's not all that bad, it happens in everyday life, big against small, parent against child, school against pupil! Evaluation : Most great shows have their selection of magic moments, this one had a young caller who claimed to have had his files deleted off his computer... a tragic case of bullying there, and subsequent hilarity ensued once the lad had finished his story and our man Boyd flooded the sarcasm, we all know and worship him for, in! At the heart of this highly provocative and successful hour, was some effective social models, flooded with a pleathora of truth. Bullying has to exist for our society to prosper really, as it encourages the establishment of a defence mechanism - a mechanism that you may later rely on to get you through life. Sure bullying is unpleasant when you look at it, but when you focus on some of the long term benefits and think about the pattern of bullying that exists all around you, then you can dislike and at the same time recognise the necessity that it plays in defining you, and setting up a hierarchy that will be duplicated from the playground til death! A cracking show!! Classic Quote : Tommy (talking about Adam in Hertfordshire), "Some VISCIOUS, CRUEL, HEARTLESS, CALLOUS, calculating bully... wiped his IT file (slight giggle) And somebody else gave him a black eye, just because he ridiculed them - awful isn't it? Can you imagine?" Interesting Points: Tommy never bullied when he was at school / One caller claimed that Prince Rajeesh Alikhan was bullying followers of Islam
Friday 23rd October The Wonderful Hour Bonfires
and Christmas Premise : A celebration of Bonfires - it's unofficial bonfire weekend, later leading to a celebration of Christmas. Evaluation : Again, the show is proving its unswerving abilility to get there first with not only one, but two festive celebrations. I can't tell you how much this hour made me feel good, not just about Christmas and bonfires, but about myself, because whilst listening I was celebrating also, which put that extra lift in my step, and made the magic of the winter season electrify my body well before it usually does. We've just had a bonfire this evening, and on a freezing cold night, nothing quite beats the heat of standing two or three feet away from the central blaze. Described as 'one of the few Jungle things, urban man can get up to'... and it's true. There is something tribal about standing around a bonfire, and something indescribable about the sensations it arouses too! A great mood igniter and welcomed festive boost!!! Fantastic! Classic Quote : Tommy, "Fred - I'm going to think about that on the train on the way home for a while. 'The reason that Shakespeare was so anti-shallow drama, in Hamlet, was because those were just the things that he use to do himself!'" Interesting Points : The council can't prosecute you for having a bonfire in your own garden / There's no such thing as a smokeless zone / There's a better chance of snow this Christmas than there has been for 20 years |
